“Catch-22” Situations

Countering a leader who seems to consistently put you into no-win situations or impossible dilemmas, and insists on adherence to illogical rules and regulations may be assisted with these responses:

• Let go of ego around confrontations, remember the old adage that you don’t always have to be right to be happy.

• Be logical and clear in your communications with your supervisor, and when confronted with communication that isn’t logical and clear politely ask for an explanation. The key here is to have the intent of clearing up any miscommunications for the good of the organization. By removing the personal, and making the need for clarity about the success of your boss and his/her goals and objectives, you remove a threat – you!

• Invite your supervisor to your team meetings regularly, or at least often enough that they know and understand your desire too seek their input as you work through tasks effectively with your team. Shining a light on the fact that you are open and agreeable to your supervisor’s presence can be quite a tonic for good.

• Always be supportive of the goals and tasks of your boss. Have empathy for the tasks and responsibilities that are assigned to your supervisor, and let them be aware that you support their position within the organization.

(This is an excerpt from an earlier blog -- When the Cow Jumped Over the Moon, Part One -- see blog archive.)

The Power of Deciding

There is perhaps no more powerful statement on the power of “deciding” than the famous words of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe who in the early years of the 19th Century said:

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

(Excerpt from my earlier post: Why Good Leaders Must D.I.E. -- go look up that blog posting on my site to see why such a provocative title ...)

When the Sun Got Stuck (c)

I am very pleased to announce the upcoming publication of my book,
When the Sun Got Stuck: A Fable for Leaders and Their Teams (c). Release date is was May 4, 2013. The book is available immediately on Amazon.com.

When the Sun Got Stuck(c) presents key leadership skills in an accessible, compulsively readable format that is appropriate for audiences from young adults to seasoned professionals. An intriguing look at both sides of leadership, from those qualities that "become a leader least" to the highly valued skills that relate to leadership excellence. Many of the concepts presented in this blog are woven into the story, and reveal themselves through characters, setting, a community crisis, and the resolution of that crisis through effective team leadership skills.

Thank you for following my blog, and for your interest in my book.

The Power of Change: The Attitude Option

by Richard R. Russey

Transitions and change are imbedded in our DNA (think: cell division) -- as well as in our exterior world, both personal and professional. Yet as real and as constant as change is, we often experience it as an intruder -- unwanted, scary, and even debilitating.

The forward movement our own life can be experienced in a myriad of ways running along a continuum from transfixing immobility on one end to triumphant exultation on the other. Most of us experience transition and change somewhere in-between the two extremes of the transition continuum depending on the level these change occurances may take -- from the minor, almost unnnoticed hiccup of change, to the earth shaking, life alterning, highly impactful transfiguration of one's life. There is no doubt that for the most part we are creatures of comfort; we seek the familiar and are soothed and comforted by the known.

But, it is undeniable that within change great power exists. The paradox lies in the fact that the shape and form of change can be either enervating or energizing. Each person has the opportunity to decide how to experience the power of change. It is important to remember that there is always a choice in our reaction to the change experience.

One of the great global Renaissance women of our time, Maya Angelou, wisely contributed to the dialogue on change by declaring, "I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refused to be reduced by it." Clearly her mindset accepts change as inevitable, but something around which an attitude option exists as a choice. In Angelou's case, she embraces the power she possesses to be resolute about maintaining her balance and purpose -- to refuse to be diminished in any way be the change experience. In fact, when looking at Angelou's life, one could fairly accurately opine that she has embraced change in such a way as to extravagantly enhance her life (one outcome being wisdom).

Change happens. It is our reaction to it that determines a positive and healthy response, or something other. To recognize and embrace that we always have an attitude option is to intentionally see change as an opportunity for positive benefits and outcomes.

Looked at with another, but equally potent, perspective, the legendary basketball player and coach, John Wooten, who hailed from America's heartland of hoops, Indiana, has said that "Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be." Wooten's statement on change is wonderful in part because it acknowledges the fact that all of experience failure -- perhaps many times -- through the course of our lives, but that failure in and of itself is not fatal. But, with his simple words, he speaks powerfully about the great locomotive of life as being fueled by change, and to avoid, ignore, or seek refuge from change is a failure of intentional decision-making that could very well be fatal. Again, an attitude option is referenced, however obliquely.

So, the challenge that confronts us, indeed burns burns fiercely through our experience in this terra-firma environment is how we each individually decide to respond to the transition and change experience. Attitude options abound, and because the temporal experience on terra-firma is extremely limited I won't wallow in the negative options, but get right to the positive attitude options -- those that may help us successfully navigate the change experiences we are confronted with on an ongoing basis.

Five Attitude Option Guidelines:

1. Keep Your Eyes on the Horizon: It is easier to navigate the unexpected bumps and detours, and even major roadblocks, when you are looking ahead and keeping your focus on the big and long-term picture. Your destination goal (and you should have one in mind) can provide an effective antidote to the all too frequent transitions you will be challenged with in both your personal and professional lives. It is easier to allow onself to spend time in the weeds -- entangled by the minutia of day to day detail -- forgetting, in fact, that there exists a more global perch from which to view your world of experience, and how every piece (including the bumps and detours) fit together with purpose.

2. Always Have a "Plan B": Whether dealing with a shake up at the work place, a loss of a job (or change of jobs), the loss of a loved one, or any other "transition" it is always good to have a "Plan B." Remember, if there is nothing else at all you can count on, you assurredly can count on change being a constant in your life in ways both great and small. So, the question, "What do I do if ...?" is a valuable exercise indeed. If nothing else, it flexes your attitude option muscle. Think of this as your personal "emergency preparedness plan," your well-considered tool box of resources and actions you may employ should you need to in reaction to a life changing experience. Think broadly as you develop your plans -- how they will help sustain, nurture, guide, and inspire you as you traverse the changes, challenges, and proverbial bumps in the road.

3. Maintain Your Physical and Emotional Wellbeing: This is particularly challenging, particularly when the change you are experiencing is not one you have sought or desired. However, it is critical to the survival of your sense of self to maintain a relentlessly positive attitude and lifestyle. This requires a frequent (almost moment to moment) "weeding" of the mental and emotional garden of thoughts. It has been said that we humans have literally tens of thousands of individual thoughts per day. And, astoundingly, even when times are good, the vast majority of those thoughts are negative self-talk. So, the challenge to "relentlessy positive" is a great and serious one indeed.

Positive energy is supported in no small manner by the daily care and feeding of your corporeal vessel (yes, your body). Eating well and moving frequently are absolute essentials. The good news is that is doesn't take any special diet book or plan, or expensive gym memberships -- because unless you've been living in a cave you KNOW what it means to eat well and move your body enough to maintain flexibility and a healthy weight. Eat quality food, eat less of it than you might imagine you "need" and move your body in ways that bring you pleasure (walking, running, bicycling, swimming -- the options are endless, and most don't cost a thing!).

Depression is a very real reaction to unwanted change, particularly when it has anything to do with loss of any kind (job, relationship, death of a loved one). Often, the best option here is to seek professional support along with keeping your friendship network close. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need. Watch for signs of addictive behavior -- and this is not just about drinking or drugs. Many other activities can be addictive. Think of the amount of time you may spend watching television, plying the world wide web, or excessively shopping (retail therapy is helpful to an extent perhaps, but it can also be a real and debilitating addiction). The point is this ... to the degree that any activity pulls you away from interactions with family and friends, and becomes a substitute or a "needed" distraction from responsibilities, it may be an addiction that requires professional help to address. I hasten to add that I am not a doctor or health care professional of any kind -- but, I, like countless others, have suffered addictions and depression as the result of a sudden and unexpected change or loss. And, what I learned for myself is that it is very difficult to go it alone when dealing with such a major life imbalance.

4. Build Bridges and Networks: If you are fortunate, you have many bridges to provide pathway options to walk above the troubled waters you may be experiencing. However, all too frequently we are rewarded for "going it alone" and for demonstrating "self-starter" qualities. Fine in good times, not so helpful when what you really need to do is reach out to others. Asking for a helping hand, or advice, or a compassionate ear is not weakness -- it is strength of character that allows that vulnerability to be expressed. Engage your networks of friends and colleagues to help you navigate the change you are experiencing. Everyone has been there -- that is, in need of a supportive person to assist in a time of change and challenge and transition.

5. LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH: It is essential as an attitude option to use the power of laughter as Norman Cousins taught us many years ago, in his groundbreaking work, Laughter is the Best Medicine. In the many years since his first books were written many, many scientific studies have confirmed what he taught us -- which is that there is real, healing, therapeutic elements to laughter. Find what is is that brings a smile to your face -- or better yet makes you laugh out loud -- and you will be well on your way to a much healthier approach to the challenges of change and transition.

So, I'll end this posting with a quote by Robert C. Gallagher:

"Change is inevitable -- except from a vending machine."

The Power of Change: The Attitude Option

And the Cow Jumped Over the Moon, Part II

By Richard Russey

And now, in Part II of my exploration of the sometimes befuddling behavior of supervisors, managers, or leaders who would seem to either overtly or covertly, or passively or aggressively (sometimes passive aggressively) derail your best efforts at being a responsible, effective, and authentic leader yourself, the going gets tougher. We are entering into an arena of behaviors that are not as easily countered or dealt with successfully. Yet there are still means of at least attempting to counter the negativity of these behaviors:

Querulous Demeanor
In these times of greater understanding and enlightenment around HR principles, standards, and practices, not to mention the increasing number of formal complaints against supervisors who cross the line with their staff, there are hopefully fewer incidences of bosses who demonstrate a true querulous demeanor. Sure, everyone has a bad day now and then, but the manager stuck in behaviors that are characterized by voicing small and petty complaints about personality traits, work habits, and personal work space, or are unnecessarily argumentative and dictatorial are a species at risk of extinction – but let’s be realistic, they do still exist. One need only walk to the water cooler to hear the conversations, in hushed tones, that tell the horror stories of querulous bosses.

The normal reactions by a direct report to a supervisor who exhibits ongoing and over the top querulous behavior include: defensiveness; protective posturing; a distancing from the team; a sense of limitation and lack of desire to go above and beyond; and an erosion of the desire to make reasonable efforts at communication. Perhaps everyone reading this can relate to hearing a co-worker saying, “Uh-oh, the boss is coming down the hall, I’m getting out of here.” Well, managers at a certain level do the same thing when among their peers. When the behaviors exhibited by a leader are such that their direct reports (remember these people are leaders themselves) scramble to get away when they approach, something in that dynamic is terribly wrong. Sure, it is often the source of rich humor for the movies and television; but to live that existence day in and day out at one’s place of employment or in any situation where you report to a “leader” is disastrous.

Clearly, these reactions of getting out of the way, defensiveness, feeling limited, distancing from the team, and giving up on communications are understandable. But, they can be extremely toxic to oneself and to your “down-line” team. So the better course of action is to remain as positive as possible and attempt to respond with these approaches:

• Examine your behaviors, style, and work habits that may be either intentionally or unintentionally provocative in the work environment. There are certain organizational norms around behavior and dress. Often they are written into policy manuals and are therefore a condition of employment. The point here is to engage in a self-review to determine whether you may be displaying passive-aggressive tendencies that are unnecessarily provoking your supervisor into the querulous demeanor. This may not be the case at all, but a periodic self-check, particularly when you are dealing with stress and friction at work is an excellent starting point.

• If you pass that self-review (and in order to be really sure, ask a trusted colleague to provide you with feedback in this arena), then you can safely assume that the problem lies with the supervisor or some other mitigating factor. In that case, a direct approach is usually the best manner to deal with issues such as these. Make careful notes of comments made, behaviors observed, e-mails sent, or other indicators that your boss is undermining you with petty complaints. Now, unless you want a full-scale confrontation (in which case the staff person rarely wins), do not present your list to your supervisor in writing as that would only serve to ramp up the heat and may prevent you from resolving this situation more amicably. Rather, use your list of observations as the starting point for a conversation about your concerns. Avoid accusations, but do invite a discussion that opens a dialogue about what might be behind the petty complaints your boss seems to be directing your way. Is your work otherwise up to par? Have you missed deadlines or failed to deliver on tasks in a satisfactory manner? These are reasonable and non-confrontational questions to ask your supervisor. Remember to speak from the “I” perspective. You can only speak from your own experience and feelings. So, a structural beginning for this type of dialogue could be: “You did ABC, and I felt EFG.” This approach avoids accusations that put the entire onus on the supervisor.

• If your boss has criticized you publicly (a leadership no-no), ask that he or she meet with you privately to discuss critiques of your performance. Keep bringing the conversation back to performance related to assigned tasks and expected deliverables. The more you are able to have your boss focus on those factors that are reasonable measures of your effectiveness and success, the better to lead him or her away from petty complaints. This approach also indicates that you desire to do your best to serve the organization and its mission, and to make it as successful as possible.

Narcissism
Without question, narcissistic behavior abounds among the ranks of leaders for the very reason that promoting oneself over the interests of others is seen as one way of getting ahead of your competition. The regrettable result is a team damaged by the narcissism of their supervisor – lacking in motivation, drive, interest, and the desire to give one’s very best to the organization. Narcissism is easy to spot, and its result cuts deep. When you experience a manager or supervisor who is obsessed with promoting themselves over the team (i.e. grabbing credit and attention), withholds acknowledgement, and uses the personal pronoun “I” rather than the more inclusive “we,” you can be fairly certain you are dealing with a narcissistic boss.

Teams who experience this as a regular “diet” quickly become cynical, apathetic, and reticent to give fully of their talents and skills. The sad result is a team that moves from high performance to mediocrity, among other characteristics.

Again, this is a tough one, and may require much more that an individual or even a team “intervention” can fix. There are often deep insecurities behind the narcissistic personality. However, small changes may come about by:

• Not acting in ways that overtly threaten your supervisor’s self-esteem. Challenging their ideas publicly, particularly when done with an edge and an intention to strike back or get even, is a road to nowhere, except perhaps out the door.

• Do unto others … that is, turn the tables, and engage in the very kind of behavior you would desire from your boss. Give him or her credit for those things they do well, and give the credit publicly.

• Mentor your own team of direct reports towards success then acknowledge them publicly, while making sure your boss is informed of their success. Being seen as willing to share success and to acknowledge others without apparent damage done to your own career may be a valuable and subtle lesson for your boss to observe and hopefully learn from.

• There is an old adage that offers the idea that a behavior ignored will eventually disappear. This may or may not be successful, but the more you go about your business and don’t bring attention to the narcissistic ways of your supervisor, the less inclined he or she may be to continue to engage in behaviors that don’t bring them the attention they desire.

Spuriousness
The case of spurious bosses has to do with behavior exhibited by them that lacks authenticity, is misleading or deceptive, seeks to perpetuate a myth for the purpose of power or control, or is two-faced (that is, different things to different people) in a disingenuous way.

Following the model of being the best “boss” you can be for your team as a starting point, remember to be squeaky clean in your authenticity and genuineness; acknowledge your idiosyncratic qualities or behaviors (we ALL have them); seek to be transparent, open, and honest with your team; and finally, admit mistakes when you make them – then quickly correct them.

Then, there are a few things you can try when you are dealing with the spurious behavior of your boss. Remember, your goal is not to play “gotcha!” with your supervisor, but to intentionally and with appropriate protocol address the behavior as a block to your effectiveness, thus a block to the effectiveness of the team, department, or even the organization as a whole.

• When you doubt the authenticity of your supervisor’s behaviors, never confront him/her with that doubt publicly. As with most of this section, there is a very fine line to walk when attempting to amend the negative behavior’s of one’s own boss. It doesn’t take much for these attempts to backfire. So, careful, thoughtful, and slow going is the key. In this case, a private conversation that attempts to get at the specifics of any given situation is important. You can lead with comments such as: “Did I hear correctly?,” “Do I understand your directive fully?,” “Is there additional information that will help me meet my goal of delivering this task on time and on budget?” This is an important time to put yourself in your supervisor’s shoes, and walk around a bit. IF your boss doesn’t feel attacked, and believes from your approach that you are genuinely trying to improve your work effort, the chances are better for a productive dialogue and outcome.

• This is one of the times that humor might help a great deal. In order to demonstrate your willingness to observe and learn from your own idiosyncratic behaviors, mistakes, or actions, it might be time to pull out a “story” of a time that you realized an unproductive behavior or mistake, were able to laugh about it with your team, and then move forward towards a successful outcome. This may subtly give your boss the “permission” needed to get “real” and speak with authenticity and transparency.

• Once your supervisor has put voice to even a very small mistake, or lack of transparency, or lack of genuineness, react without drama, come up with an idea to help your boss “fix” the situation, and/or admit a similar mistake you have made, and toss off a line that takes the pressure down a few notches, such as, “thank goodness we have opportunities to live and learn” or some such acknowledgement of the supervisor’s attempt at changing their spuriousness behavior.

Obstructionism and Turf Protection
Sometimes the negative actions of the boss is all about undercutting the down line direct reports in order to protect turf, or obstruct an action that will bring positive notice to mid-level manager. In this more difficult case of dealing with your boss, remember one of the rules of “jumping over the moon” – that is, by engaging your boss fully in your idea, project, or activity so there is a camaraderie that is developed from the beginning. During this process, give the boss credit for leading the team so openly and with success for all as the measuring stick.

• Don’t give your boss a reason to feel turf needs to be protected. I know this may sound odd, but often without knowing it, we may say things that claim credit for an important piece of work, or outwardly demonstrates your mistrust of your supervisor.

• Again, see your work as that of a team, and that team includes your direct reports as well as your boss. If your boss doesn’t have the time to be part of your team in a physical way, make sure s/he gets updates regularly from you about the progress of the project. By holding back on information until a day or two before your boss has to report out on your project to the CEO or other higher level leader, you will only exacerbate the feeling the boss may have of needing to obstruct or protect turf. So, make sure you share information fully and regularly so there is nothing for your boss to fear or protect.

Savior Complex.
Finally, some supervisor’s or bosses feel the need to be the one who saves the day by swooping in at the last moments and “fixing” the problems that you were not able to see or handle. There is a narcissistic element to this complex too, of course, but it may be deeply more troubling because it often occurs at the very last minute. I’ve known leaders who will spring the savior complex on a direct report and/or their team at the most critical and/or embarrassing times – such as at a team presentation of a project to the CEO, or board of directors. The boss with a savior complex may wait until that moment to point out flaws, and correct mistakes.

There is not much that one can do in that moment to challenge the boss. So, the best way to prevent this type of behavior is to go back to some of the earlier recommendations – to engage your supervisor in sharing information about the project or task along the way, to seek input from your supervisor along the way, and specifically to do a “run through” of any presentation for the organization leaders before the fact so that you have the opportunity to incorporate your supervisor’s ideas and thoughts before the presentation. In fact, while presenting the project to the organization’s leaders it would be wise to say, where true and accurate, that your boss was pivotal and helpful at various specific points along the way.

So, indeed it is possible for the “cow to jump over the moon” however difficult a feat that seems to be at the moment. Just remember the key ideas of inclusion, sharing, seeking feedback from your boss regularly, and acknowledging your boss for ideas and recommendations that have improved the project.

My thanks to a dear friend and colleague (she’ll know who she is!) for suggesting that I address this topic – a difficult one to be certain – but necessary if one is to successfully navigate the troubled waters of a supervisor, leader, or boss who may not always be coming to their role from an enlightened place, and is therefore making your job much more difficult.

Smart/Heart Leadership Training Now in Philadelphia!

The Russey Group presents the Smart/Heart Excellence in Leadership Seminar

Now in Philadelphia!

Friday, November 6th
8:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.

Temple University City Center
Room 308
15th & Market Streets

Registration Deadline - October 25th
Registration fee: First 50 receive discount rate of $125; regular registration $155.

To register go to: www.smartheartleadershippa.eventbrite.com
For more information contact: smartheartregistrar@verizon.net

This interactive seminar addresses a number of critical leadership topics including:
The "Big Six" Competencies of Leadership
Leadership Traits to Avoid (and Highly Effective Substitutes)
The New Century Template for Teams
How to Live Artfully and Intentionally to Prosper Professionally

Richard Russey is a veteran leader with over 30 years experience who has served in local, state, and national leadership roles for both the public and private sectors. Richard's approach to leadership blends the cognitive with the affective which results in a particularly winning style and methodology perfectly suited for creating success in these challenging times.

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