by Richard R. Russey
Transitions and change are imbedded in our DNA (think: cell division) -- as well as in our exterior world, both personal and professional. Yet as real and as constant as change is, we often experience it as an intruder -- unwanted, scary, and even debilitating.
The forward movement our own life can be experienced in a myriad of ways running along a continuum from transfixing immobility on one end to triumphant exultation on the other. Most of us experience transition and change somewhere in-between the two extremes of the transition continuum depending on the level these change occurances may take -- from the minor, almost unnnoticed hiccup of change, to the earth shaking, life alterning, highly impactful transfiguration of one's life. There is no doubt that for the most part we are creatures of comfort; we seek the familiar and are soothed and comforted by the known.
But, it is undeniable that within change great power exists. The paradox lies in the fact that the shape and form of change can be either enervating or energizing. Each person has the opportunity to decide how to experience the power of change. It is important to remember that there is always a choice in our reaction to the change experience.
One of the great global Renaissance women of our time, Maya Angelou, wisely contributed to the dialogue on change by declaring, "I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refused to be reduced by it." Clearly her mindset accepts change as inevitable, but something around which an attitude option exists as a choice. In Angelou's case, she embraces the power she possesses to be resolute about maintaining her balance and purpose -- to refuse to be diminished in any way be the change experience. In fact, when looking at Angelou's life, one could fairly accurately opine that she has embraced change in such a way as to extravagantly enhance her life (one outcome being wisdom).
Change happens. It is our reaction to it that determines a positive and healthy response, or something other. To recognize and embrace that we always have an attitude option is to intentionally see change as an opportunity for positive benefits and outcomes.
Looked at with another, but equally potent, perspective, the legendary basketball player and coach, John Wooten, who hailed from America's heartland of hoops, Indiana, has said that "Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be." Wooten's statement on change is wonderful in part because it acknowledges the fact that all of experience failure -- perhaps many times -- through the course of our lives, but that failure in and of itself is not fatal. But, with his simple words, he speaks powerfully about the great locomotive of life as being fueled by change, and to avoid, ignore, or seek refuge from change is a failure of intentional decision-making that could very well be fatal. Again, an attitude option is referenced, however obliquely.
So, the challenge that confronts us, indeed burns burns fiercely through our experience in this terra-firma environment is how we each individually decide to respond to the transition and change experience. Attitude options abound, and because the temporal experience on terra-firma is extremely limited I won't wallow in the negative options, but get right to the positive attitude options -- those that may help us successfully navigate the change experiences we are confronted with on an ongoing basis.
Five Attitude Option Guidelines:
1. Keep Your Eyes on the Horizon: It is easier to navigate the unexpected bumps and detours, and even major roadblocks, when you are looking ahead and keeping your focus on the big and long-term picture. Your destination goal (and you should have one in mind) can provide an effective antidote to the all too frequent transitions you will be challenged with in both your personal and professional lives. It is easier to allow onself to spend time in the weeds -- entangled by the minutia of day to day detail -- forgetting, in fact, that there exists a more global perch from which to view your world of experience, and how every piece (including the bumps and detours) fit together with purpose.
2. Always Have a "Plan B": Whether dealing with a shake up at the work place, a loss of a job (or change of jobs), the loss of a loved one, or any other "transition" it is always good to have a "Plan B." Remember, if there is nothing else at all you can count on, you assurredly can count on change being a constant in your life in ways both great and small. So, the question, "What do I do if ...?" is a valuable exercise indeed. If nothing else, it flexes your attitude option muscle. Think of this as your personal "emergency preparedness plan," your well-considered tool box of resources and actions you may employ should you need to in reaction to a life changing experience. Think broadly as you develop your plans -- how they will help sustain, nurture, guide, and inspire you as you traverse the changes, challenges, and proverbial bumps in the road.
3. Maintain Your Physical and Emotional Wellbeing: This is particularly challenging, particularly when the change you are experiencing is not one you have sought or desired. However, it is critical to the survival of your sense of self to maintain a relentlessly positive attitude and lifestyle. This requires a frequent (almost moment to moment) "weeding" of the mental and emotional garden of thoughts. It has been said that we humans have literally tens of thousands of individual thoughts per day. And, astoundingly, even when times are good, the vast majority of those thoughts are negative self-talk. So, the challenge to "relentlessy positive" is a great and serious one indeed.
Positive energy is supported in no small manner by the daily care and feeding of your corporeal vessel (yes, your body). Eating well and moving frequently are absolute essentials. The good news is that is doesn't take any special diet book or plan, or expensive gym memberships -- because unless you've been living in a cave you KNOW what it means to eat well and move your body enough to maintain flexibility and a healthy weight. Eat quality food, eat less of it than you might imagine you "need" and move your body in ways that bring you pleasure (walking, running, bicycling, swimming -- the options are endless, and most don't cost a thing!).
Depression is a very real reaction to unwanted change, particularly when it has anything to do with loss of any kind (job, relationship, death of a loved one). Often, the best option here is to seek professional support along with keeping your friendship network close. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need. Watch for signs of addictive behavior -- and this is not just about drinking or drugs. Many other activities can be addictive. Think of the amount of time you may spend watching television, plying the world wide web, or excessively shopping (retail therapy is helpful to an extent perhaps, but it can also be a real and debilitating addiction). The point is this ... to the degree that any activity pulls you away from interactions with family and friends, and becomes a substitute or a "needed" distraction from responsibilities, it may be an addiction that requires professional help to address. I hasten to add that I am not a doctor or health care professional of any kind -- but, I, like countless others, have suffered addictions and depression as the result of a sudden and unexpected change or loss. And, what I learned for myself is that it is very difficult to go it alone when dealing with such a major life imbalance.
4. Build Bridges and Networks: If you are fortunate, you have many bridges to provide pathway options to walk above the troubled waters you may be experiencing. However, all too frequently we are rewarded for "going it alone" and for demonstrating "self-starter" qualities. Fine in good times, not so helpful when what you really need to do is reach out to others. Asking for a helping hand, or advice, or a compassionate ear is not weakness -- it is strength of character that allows that vulnerability to be expressed. Engage your networks of friends and colleagues to help you navigate the change you are experiencing. Everyone has been there -- that is, in need of a supportive person to assist in a time of change and challenge and transition.
5. LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH: It is essential as an attitude option to use the power of laughter as Norman Cousins taught us many years ago, in his groundbreaking work, Laughter is the Best Medicine. In the many years since his first books were written many, many scientific studies have confirmed what he taught us -- which is that there is real, healing, therapeutic elements to laughter. Find what is is that brings a smile to your face -- or better yet makes you laugh out loud -- and you will be well on your way to a much healthier approach to the challenges of change and transition.
So, I'll end this posting with a quote by Robert C. Gallagher:
"Change is inevitable -- except from a vending machine."
